#50 Be Given or Buy Myself a Big Bunch of Pink Tulips

Mother's Day has always been an especially difficult time for me.

As an adolescent girl, as far as I could see I was the ONLY girl in the world who didn't have a mother. I felt so sad to watch my friends showering their own mothers with cards, flowers, special meals and gifts. I suffered many school art projects in the Spring involving making some gift that would invariably end up in the garbage, many rehearsals in church and school choirs of songs to be preformed for an audience of everyone else's parents.

The one thought that got me through that particular holiday each year was the idea that I may not be able to have a mother, but that I would someday be a mother myself.

I got married and we started trying for a baby two months later.

Enter eight years of doctor's appointments, all sorts humiliating tests, ovarian cysts, miscarriages and mystery fertility issues, all while watching my friends become mothers themselves, some of them as many as five times over.

Oh the world can seem a cruel place on Mother's Day.

Then, in November 2010, my life changed. I wrote a very tentative email to a friend who had just had a baby herself tearfully admitting that I was imagining having pregnancy symptoms. She very matter of factly replied "Sounds like you're knocked up to me. Go and get two pregnancy tests and make a doctor's appointment." So that's what I did. And suddenly, I was a mother. A mother, in charge of an entire tiny person. And as she grew inside me, so did my heart. And it continues, if she's not happy, I'm not happy. If she needs something, I am determined to get it.

So yeah, I got my big bunch of pink Mother's day tulips this year. I also got cards and jewelry. But the very best gift I could ever have gotten was just being able to celebrate Mother's Day with my precious little peanut.

#16 Learn to Make Corn Tortillas

When I was only a housewife/part time Sales Associate, I used to make a lovely dinner just about every night. I used to have people round for dinner. Sometimes as often as twice a week. Goodness.

Now, my days and nights are filled with amusing Peanut, my gorgeous 10-month-old baby, piles of laundry and omelettes for dinner. Sure, I make the odd something scrumptious from scratch, but most often it's a casserole, muffins or something I can toss all the ingredients together in the slow cooker and set about changing nappies, singing silly songs, and playing peekaboo the rest of the day.

What possessed me to volunteer to make a complete Mexican meal from scratch for a friend tomorrow, I have no idea.

After a very full day of being a mom including one very crabby Peanut at bedtime, I set about the prep work tonight.

Three hours later and we have the beginnings of Cuban style black beans, chicken marinating in the fridge, 16 wonky homemade corn tortillas, a backache, pile of dirty dishes and the first item ticked off my list.

*Having now sampled those tortillas, the above mentioned marinated chicken, and black beans as well as some homemade pico de gallo and guacamole, all I can say is YUM! Not to toot my own horn or anything, but those were the best tacos I have had in a loooong time.

Annette's Super Good Pico De Gallo

3 large tomatoes, roughly diced

2 small red onions, diced

a large bunch of cilantro roughly chopped

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 jalepeno, minced

sea salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

juice of one lime

splash of balsamic vinegar

splash of vegetable oil

drain the tomatoes in a sieve while you are chopping the rest of the ingredients. Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and let it set half an hour. Enjoy!

I have experimented with this recipe a lot. Green onions, different sorts of chilis, bell peppers, I even omitted the tomato and used cucumber instead once. You can't mess it up!